WOULD I BE OUT OF LINE IF I SAID, ''I MISS YOU?"

Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky.
So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars,  
it is all your fault.
You made me miss you too much! 

A call for you means I’m missing you. 

The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you.  
A hug for you means I need you. 
A kiss for you means I love you. 
Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure.

 I dropped a tear in the ocean.
if I knew you were missing me too. 
 To me you are like blue sky;
every day when I see a blue sky I think of you,
and I miss you, and hope to hold you in my arms.

omey, cepat lah balik.

Aku rindu kau :')



I'M TOO SHABBY CAUSE I MISS YOU TOO MUCH

Again today I looked into the sky aimlessly.

I tried to draw your face slowly.

Your lips, your eyes.

I tell my self that I need to stop thinking about you for a minute.

I keep telling myself that I can't see you now.

But you're the only one for me.

It can't be anyone else.

Will you accept my heart now?

Should I tell you that I love you? That I need you? That I miss you?

Do you know how I feel when I look at your pictures everyday?

How I feel when I'm listening to your voice recording everyday?

If you stay by my side I don't want anything else.

Will you just stay by my side?

Should I try to run to you?

I want to know how you feel about me.

That's the only thing I need

I can't imagine day without you.

Will you accept my feeling for you?

I try to remember everything that you did for me in the past.

Will you please stay by my side and protect me?

The sweet looks you always gave me, and the way you used to talk to me.

They do matter to me.

You're enough for me.

LOVE LETTER FOR MY RASH - PART II

I could see how much you cared from the start.

It made me never want to loose you.

It feels like I'm in the best fairy tale in the world,

or the best dream that I could imagine 

and I'm just scared that I'm gonna wake up,

and everything will be gone.

He was so imperfect already.

Do you want to know my problem?

I'll tell you what my problem is...

...I just can't stop thinking about you even for a minute.

I don't want something perfect. I want something real.
Something between the two of us something only we can feel.

In a perfect world, when I'm with you,

I would be wishing you was with me;

when I looked at you, I would be looking at you;

when I smiled at you, my smile would be only for you;

when I thought about someone, I would be thinking about you.

In a perfect world, I would realize that you was the one I was supposed to be with

and I would still be standing here waiting for you still when you finally knows this.

LOVE LETTER FOR MY RASH

Do you ever think what if..you never said your first hello?

What if our paths never crossed? What if you had five more minutes?

He completely stole my heart. I hope he never let me go.

I never really told him. Ahh, actually I do. But I don't think he take it seriously.

But he had me from the first hello. I just wanted to thank you.

Thank you for coming into my happy life, and somehow making it even happier.

Sometimes we joke. Sometimes we're talking about the same thing. 

Sometimes we're just random talking and sometimes we're not talking at all.

But sometimes, but all of the times, I feel comfortable and I trust you with everything you say.

Your more than a friend. You know that don't you?

I love you. I love the way you look at me. I love your voice.

I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you talk. I love your beautiful brown eyes.

I love your laugh, the way I hear your voice I loose all my thoughts.

I love everything about you.

EVERY SINGLE THING.

I SWEAR.

You wanna know what I think?

I think you do love me, or you could love me. And for sure you know I love you too.

But we're just too scared to admit it because you know the reason. And I get that.  

I just realize that I love you.

SEVEN ELEVEN

Hari ni adik aku ajak pergi 7E. Sampai je dekat depan pintu 7E tu, aku stuck 5 saat.
Macam biasa pergi mana-mana pun mesti aku keliru nak tolak ke nak tarik. 

Even dah terang-terang dekat pintu tu tulis 'TARIK/TOLAK'. HaHaHaHa!
Masuk je 7E, aku terus pergi isi Slurpee. Tengok magazine, tengok air dalam peti ais, 
belek-belek roti kejap..Eh eh eh, Slurpee tadi dah tinggal separuh!

So aku pergi isi balik bagi penuh. Muahaha! Dua kali kot aku pergi refill balik.
Aku perasan budak cashier tu usha je aku. Aku? Buat muka comel sambil minum Slurpee ^^
Kebetulan ada 3 orang budak laki dalam 7E tengah belek-belek komik. 
Dorang pun pandang je. HaHaHaHa!

Masa nak bayar tu, cashier tu senyum je pastu dia cakap,
"Awak, umur berapa?". 
Seriously aku tak tau nak bagi respon camne kecuali buat muka blurr macam ni ---> *.*

Lepas bayar, sambil minum Slurpee tu aku jalan lah nak keluar, 
tetiba sorang dari budak laki tu cakap,
 'bye'. 

Errrrrrr..

DANNNNNNNNN, MACAM BIASA AKU STUCK DEPAN PINTU 5 SAAT. 
Confius again nak tarik ke nak tolak. Damn!

Aihh!

I'M DEALING WITH SHIT

Up here thinking about shit.

It's enough to make you get quite for an hour or so.

I'm not sad, I'm just wondering where all this is going.

Maybe I should stop thinking about it.

It's not easy for me to go with the flow.

Just knowing I should ain't making it any easier to do it.

My mind is racing with this shit.

I got my music on to help get my mind off.

STRESSFUL

I stress myself out a lot over things I can't control.

I wish I could go back in time and avoid poor decisions I've made.

There's times I wish time would speed up to the moment I'm married and settled.

But then there's moments I want time to slow down so I don't have to get older.

Speed up time. Slow down time. I don't have time.

The time I have is never enough.

They say that time is money.

In that case, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase,

"Get Rich or Die Trying."Appointments. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Even those words sound stressful.

But it seems like humans are the only creatures that stress about time.

Does a chipmunk stress out about running late to meet his squirrel friend for dinner?

Does a bear start freaking out when he turns 24?

We're all going to die. Everyone soul is given life and shall taste death.

Allah knows how much time we all will have.

It says directly in the Quran that "By time, man is in loss,"

so time is running out for all of us.

So why waste time trying to figure out how much/little time we have or wishing to move time, and instead focus more on taking full advantage of the time itself.

I remember as a kid when birthdays used to be awesome.

My friends and family would sit around me as I blew out the candles

and opened up baller boxes of leggos and barbie.

If I go out with my friends for my birthday now, sure I suppose it will be fun,

but deep down inside I can't help but sigh to myself and think,

 "Girl, another year has gone by..."
When in my life did that change?

I spend so much time now counting and measuring the moments in my life,

that I forget to enjoy the moments themselves.

Sigh -.-

MY RASH

What I really wanna talk about is my rash that is my nigga.
As I am his rash too. LOLLERIES.
I call it a rash since he likes my statuses, almost every single one of them
And he comments on statuses, also every single one of them.
If you still don't get it, it's like, if you have a rash, it's on your skin right?
And it won't come off. That's how my nigga's like.
He's always there. On my statuses, on my comments, EVERYWHERE. 
But I sorta like it. In fact, I find it weird if he doesn't comment on my status.
Cause I'm getting really used to it now. Lol thanks omey. 
And..........I'm sorta his rash too. I doubt he enjoys it tho. HAHA!
But oh well right?
I'm glad I found an awesome rash/nigga/friend/twin/soulmate now.
Hope this 'thing' lasts. 


<3

2012

Things started to turn upside down.
Or may I say it's the worst year of my life.
Maybe it's just me. Or maybe the world has back-sided me.
Sinking me into misery and emotion.

Here goes.

I thought that everything is going smoothly. No more doubt.
No more memories haunting back. No more insecurity.
But now it is proved that I was wrong.
And again, every questions and uncertainly comes back around.
Just because of an action been made.
Yes, I'm hard to understand. But I can't help it.
It's just how the way I feel. It's uncontrolable. I'm helpless.
I can't read people's mind. I can't measure what's going on.

Some say it's normal to feel this way.
But I found it somewhat annoying and hard to bear.
Where's my strength? I need it back.

I was happy. At first. But everything changed.
It's not whats been planted in my mind for my entire life.
It's not what I hope it will be.

I'm sad as I weep quietly when the real truth comes to me.

I was astonish. Stunned.
What had happened while I'm gone? I don't want it to be this way.
Seeing the person you used to love has lost their smile.
I miss the way you are before 'it' happens.

I know, I understand how hard it is so bear every tragedy.
And I'm really proud that I'm still standing tall.
And hoping that I won't give up. The sorrow of mine flows.
And so I pray that God will give us strength.
Now my only wish is for you to be free from difficulties and get your smile back.

THIS IS HOW I DIED

It's been 5 years and it's coming in 6 years now, that a part of me had changed. The world around me, the people around me, the closest people in my life and mostly me myself had changed. How ironic that this things never even crossed my mind once. At the first word I heard, I was stunned. I felt nothing, well, at first. Sometimes it takes me time to actually receive something. Especially those horrifying yet unbelievable news.

So we went to a journey, a mission if I may say. To change all those uninvited differences that had cut us all way deep down. It's a no-secret. We knew it all. Well, I think. But one of us faught the hardest battle that blood tears even sounded legit. My part is? Well I'm the motivator. I'm always there as a foundation to keep everything strong enough and prevent it from crashing down. Like they said, I'm a hardcore. I don't weep and break into tears like a fragile little girl. I'm a strong woman who will strongly approach any possibilities. But, nahhhhh, they're wrong. I'm actually scared inside. Negative thoughts keep haunting me. What if we lost the game? What if the 'enemy' are stronger? What if I lose the people I love?

I weep silently under my pillow. Cry. Well you see, that strong hardcore girl, is just an act.
The sad part is, we lose the battle. Now all we have to do is watch the walls that we build destroyed.

I'm sorry.