ALONE IN THE DARK

One of the worst feelings in the world is loneliness. 

Sitting in the dark by yourself in the wee hours of the night gently crying. 

Nobody knows what’s going on with you. 

How could anybody realize what’s happening? 

Everybody you know is resting peacefully in their bed awaiting the new day tomorrow. 

But for you, there’s no difference in the days. 

They pass monotonously. And before you know it, it’s all gone.

HAPPY ME! :))

To be fair I'm a totally different person to who I was last year. 

Actually being in a relationship with someone I'm afraid to lose has made me realize,

 I don't need to act like a slut or have attention all the time. 

I literally don't care about nothing other than making things work with him. 

I can still have fun but I've grown up loads,

 and I know now I should have settled down ages ago. 

Seriously girls you don't need attention of loads of different guy's 

other than one that wants you for more than just one thing. 

Every girl will realize this one day hopefully!

HAPPY FEBRUARY TO FEBRUARY (1st)

It's been a hell of a crazy ride with you. 

Honestly , I would love to stay near you everyday. 

From Lumut, to a lovely date and nice movies, 

midnight dinner, vertigo at the funfair, countless happy nights, picnic..

And the list goes on and on... 

I am very sure we'll be together in the future. 

And when we do, please still be the same crazy, random, unsure, 

bossy, ego, over reacting, over protective...

cute, smart, caring, loving, honest, etc.. 

Make sure you don't change for the worse! 

I love all the things we did & shared together.

Thank you for all the love you gave to me.

For all the concerns, attentions & your time.

I love you :)

I LOVE BEING HELD

 I always thought that there was this one perfect person for everybody in the world, 

you know, and when you found that person the rest of the world kind of magically faded away, 

and the two of you would just be inside this kind of protective bubble, 

but there is no bubble, I mean if there is you have to make it, 

I just think life is more than a series of moments, that we can make choices, 

and we can choose to protect the people we love, 
and that’s what makes us who we are and those are the real memories.

I’m not always as confident as I seem. 

There are many nights and many days when all I want is to be held. 

I love being held. Always. Sometimes I don’t want to talk about what is bothering me. 

Sometimes I just want a hug. Someone who will let me cry.  

 

SYEERA SANDERS - KAU

Tak pernah ku termimpi,

Yang aku kan miliki,

Dirimu si pujaan hati, 

Kerna kau terlalu sempurna buatku,

Bagai terang yang takkan bisa nampak gelapku. 

Semalam hanya ada aku dan hati kecilku,

Tapi hari ini ada aku dan kamu,

Kau menghidupkan semula bunga-bunga dihatiku.

Kau bulan yang menerangi malam,

Dan kau bintang-bintang yang mengindahi gelap,

Kau lah penyelamat aku dari seksanya neraka cinta.

I HATE BEING CONFUSED

I'm just not feeling myself anymore. I'm tired of being dependent on my boyfriend when I have no one else to talk to. I don't have a job to keep myself busy aside from my work. I don't have one fucking close friend other than my boyfriend to hang with. I used to be able to make plenty of friends easily. I want to make friends, but I seem to only attract guy friends but I don't want to make my boyfriend jealous. I want a girl friend, not an acquaintance. Unfortunately, it's easier for me to make guy friends.

I want to give my boyfriend space even when we don't see each other for 1 day. Somehow we always end up texting and I always want to talk to him. I can't "act" busy because I have nothing to really be busy with. I don't want to go out into the community and join a boring club or whatever. They're all boring to me. I have a great relationship, but I'm constantly worrying about trying to be the best girlfriend I can be and setting my own personal problems aside. 

I just don't feel happy with myself and I don't want it affecting my great relationship. I don't know how to talk to my boyfriend about ALL of this without seeming clingy (I'm not normally clingy like right now). He gives me attention all the time and I'm happy about that, but I want to be missed by him more. It seems like I'm always missing him no matter if it's a few hours apart, but we see each other so often that HIM missing ME isn't an option. I want him to want me like he wanted me in the beginning of the relationship. 

Ugh. Sorry for long rant. I hate expecting so much of myself and giving happiness to others, other than myself. I'm thinking about taking a few days away from each other by being less chatty and not being physically around him. I just don't want it to hurt either of us. I expect to accomplish this without any problems, but I know I wouldn't be able to deal without him for a few days. And to bring this up to him out of the blue will have him worry that there might be something wrong with him or our relationship. Blah. I hate being confused.

I ALWAYS WAKE UP IN LOVE WITH YOU

You make me laugh when I want to cry,
Make me live when I want to die,
Make me smile when I want to frown,
You turn my life upside down.

Believe in me when no one else does
You’re my now, my is, my was.
When you call my name I begin to blush,
I'm afraid people notice I need you so much.

When I'm with you time flies by fast.
It's like the present is the past.
I need you more than you can believe,
Love you more than you can conceive.

Think about you every night and day
And hope my life can stay this way
I don't want it to be any other way.  

No matter what might have happened the night before, I always wake up in love with you. :)